Funny Leadership Quotes

I am  big fan of leaderhip quotes.  They are even better if the person has a sense of humor.  Here are a list of my favorite funny leadership quotes.

• A child of five would understand this.  Send someone to fetch a child of five. ~ Groucho Marx
• A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. ~ George Bernard Shaw
• A leader is a dealer in hope. ~ Napoleon Bonaparte
• A leader is best when people barely know he exists, not so good when people obey and acclaim him, worse when they despise him. But of a good leader who talks little when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: We did it ourselves. ~ Lao-Tzu
• A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. ~ James Crook
• Always drink upstream from the herd. ~ Will Rogers
• Anyone can steer the ship when the sea is calm. ~ Publilius Syrus
• But me thought it lessened my esteem of a king, that he should not be able to command the rain. ~ Samuel Pepys
• By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean. ~ Mark Twain
• Delegating work works, provided the one delegating works, too. ~ Robert Half
• Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility. ~ St. Augustine
• Don’t tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results. ~ George S. Patton
• For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string. ~ Spike Milligan
• If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. ~ The Bible
• It is a terrible thing to look over your shoulder when you are trying to lead — and find no one there. ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt
• It is a well-known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it… anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. ~ Douglas Adams
• It’s hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. ~ Adlai Stevenson
• Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it. ~ Dwight Eisenhower
• Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes. ~ Lewis Grizzard
• Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream. ~ Malcolm Muggeridge
• Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men — the other 999 follow women. ~ Groucho Marx
• Pull the string, and it will follow wherever you wish. Push it, and it will go nowhere at all. ~ Dwight Eisenhower
• The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it. ~ Theodore Roosevelt
• The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it. ~ Elaine Agather
• The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. ~ Robert Bloch
• The question who ought to be boss is like who ought to be the tenor in the quartet? Obviously, the man who can sing tenor. ~ Henry Ford
• The very essence of leadership is that you have to have vision. You can’t blow an uncertain trumpet. ~ Theodore M. Hesburgh
• You can build a throne with bayonets, but you can’t sit on it for long. ~ Boris Yeltsin
• You do not lead by hitting people over the head – that’s assault, not leadership. ~ Dwight Eisenhower